The Detectives (1993)

The Detectives

The absurd adventures of two defective detectives, who - despite unbelievable incompetence - somehow manage to solve their cases (or be nearby when the cases are solved) and retain their jobs.

The Detectives

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Robert Powell
Robert Powell
as Dave Briggs
George Sewell
George Sewell
as Superintendent Cottam
Jasper Carrott
Jasper Carrott
as Bob Louis
Frank Windsor
Frank Windsor
as Chief Superintendent
Tony Selby
Tony Selby
as Sgt. 'Nozzer' Richardson
Dicken Ashworth
Dicken Ashworth
as Landlord as Derek
Mark Steel
Mark Steel
as Pike as Second copper
Kristy Bruce
Kristy Bruce
as Olivia
Jason Hall
Jason Hall
as Ronnie as Policeman in Briefing
Max Digby
Max Digby
as Hopkins as D.C. Hopkins
Anthony Valentine
Anthony Valentine
as Chaffeur as Grey Wolf
Simon Slater
Simon Slater
as D.C. Quirke as D.I. Simpson
Gracy Goldman
Gracy Goldman
as Fiona
Lee Cornes
Lee Cornes
as Doctor Pete
Jimmy Tarbuck
Jimmy Tarbuck
as McKenna
John Nettles
John Nettles
as Jim Bergerac
Philip Glenister
Philip Glenister
as Uniformed Officer
Christopher Villiers
Christopher Villiers
as Dr Phipps
Eamonn Walker
Eamonn Walker
as D.I. Tyler
Nick Brimble
Nick Brimble
as Jan
Ron Cook
Ron Cook
as Blind Billy
Adam Godley
Adam Godley
as D.C. Dominic Boyle
Jerry Hall
Jerry Hall
as Jerry Palmer
Amanda Mealing
Amanda Mealing
as Emily Ford
Jon Cartwright
Jon Cartwright
as The Earl of Lisson
Adam Maxwell
Adam Maxwell
as Police Officer
Noel Coleman
Noel Coleman
as The Butler
Laura Beckford
Laura Beckford
as Receptionist
Candida Rundle
Candida Rundle
as Chambermaid
Peter Geeves
Peter Geeves
as Chef
Nick Ball
Nick Ball
as Barman
Rupert Bates
Rupert Bates
as Mr Smith
Paul Williamson
Paul Williamson
as Sir Lionel Case
Michael Melia
Michael Melia
as Brian
Eileen Way
Eileen Way
as Old Lady
Norman Lumsden
Norman Lumsden
as Old Man
Stuart Fox
Stuart Fox
as Plain Clothes Officer
Nick Maloney
Nick Maloney
as Psychiatrist
John Motson
John Motson
as Football Commentator (voice)
Michael Godley
Michael Godley
as Club Steward
Tony Jacklin
Tony Jacklin
as Himself
Don Gallagher
Don Gallagher
as Sergeant Williams
Nosher Powell
Nosher Powell
as McKenna Employee 1
Eddie Webber
Eddie Webber
as Bank Robber
Marcus Eyre
Marcus Eyre
as McKenna Employee 2
Peter Jeffrey
Peter Jeffrey
as Derek
Anthony Stewart Head
Anthony Stewart Head
as Simon
Ruth Hudson
Ruth Hudson
as Jane
Clive Darby
Clive Darby
as Assistant Director
Caroline O'Neill
Caroline O'Neill
as Production Assistant
Alan Bodenham
Alan Bodenham
as Big Bird
Sion Tudor Owen
Sion Tudor Owen
as Terry
Jimmy Batten
Jimmy Batten
as Gangster
Harold Innocent
Harold Innocent
as Viking
Michael Simkins
Michael Simkins
as Doctor
Noel Edmonds
Noel Edmonds
as Himself
Nigel Davenport
Nigel Davenport
as Sir Arthur Andrews
Raad Rawi
Raad Rawi
as Sultan of Benaris
John Dair
John Dair
as Masseur
Doug Fisher
Doug Fisher
as Cabbie
Terence Alexander
Terence Alexander
as Charlie Hungerford
James Ottaway
James Ottaway
as Old Gentleman
John Warnaby
John Warnaby
as Vet
Larry Martyn
Larry Martyn
as Stable Hand
Lee Whitlock
Lee Whitlock
as Young Stablehand
Barry Cryer
Barry Cryer
as Detective Simpson
Leon Herbert
Leon Herbert
as Polish Joe
Leslie Grantham
Leslie Grantham
as Danny Kane
Andy Lucas
Andy Lucas
as Greek Gangster
Alex Knight
Alex Knight
as Scottish Gangster
Dave Atkins
Dave Atkins
as Ronnie
Georgina Hale
Georgina Hale
as Irene Mazola
Lucy Davis
Lucy Davis
as Young girl 1
Jeremy Fowlds
Jeremy Fowlds
as Young man 1
Jennifer Gibson
Jennifer Gibson
as Young girl 2
Roger James Sewell
Roger James Sewell
as Young man 2
Jack Burns
Jack Burns
as Bouncer
Phil Atkinson
Phil Atkinson
as Egghead Evans
Chris Beaumont
Chris Beaumont
as Kenny
Henry Naylor
Henry Naylor
as Police Driver
Andy Parsons
Andy Parsons
as Armed Officer
Pete Pastore
Pete Pastore
as Briefing Sgt
Gwen Taylor
Gwen Taylor
as Annie
Christopher Ellison
Christopher Ellison
as Lomax
Don Henderson
Don Henderson
as Brother Ryan
Ben Lobb
Ben Lobb
as Copper 2
David J. Nicholls
David J. Nicholls
as P.C. Terry
Michael Redfern
Michael Redfern
as Copper
Linda Regan
Linda Regan
as Barmaid
Shend
Shend
as Tall Murderer
Fairmang Singhateh
Fairmang Singhateh
as Copper 3
Andrew Barclay
Andrew Barclay
as Jimmy
Robert Bathurst
Robert Bathurst
as Thomas
Nicholas Colicos
Nicholas Colicos
as Masseur
Daniel Flynn
Daniel Flynn
as Peter Burlington
Geoff Lawson
Geoff Lawson
as 'Bodger' Riley
Rula Lenska
Rula Lenska
as Duchess
Roland Oliver
Roland Oliver
as Harry The Editor
Tony Soper
Tony Soper
as Badger Watch Commentator
James Ellis
James Ellis
as Customs Officer
Glyn Grimstead
Glyn Grimstead
as Lorry Driver
Richard Huw
Richard Huw
as Waiter
Paul Kynman
Paul Kynman
as Ruud
Herbert Lom
Herbert Lom
as Van der Dyck
Ralph Van Dijk
Ralph Van Dijk
as Dutch Sergeant
Maya Woolfe
Maya Woolfe
as Secretary
Gabe Cronnelly
Gabe Cronnelly
as Sparring Partner
Brian Croucher
Brian Croucher
as Harry Laws
Gary Delaney
Gary Delaney
as Skipping Boxer
Tim Healy
Tim Healy
as Ronnie Goodall
Eric Mason
Eric Mason
as Shorty
Gary Mason
Gary Mason
as Spitting Boxer
Nicholas Monu
Nicholas Monu
as Danny Hendry
Stan Nelson
Stan Nelson
as Rioter
Kate Rhodes James
Kate Rhodes James
as Laws' Secretary
Leonard Trusty
Leonard Trusty
as Barry 'The Bull' Kincade
Gareth Hunt
Gareth Hunt
as Mr. Sharpe
Louisa Rix
Louisa Rix
as Mrs. Sharpe
Roy Smiles
Roy Smiles
as P.C. 'Trev' Hamilton
Julie T. Wallace
Julie T. Wallace
as W.P.C Sandy Taylor
Leo Dolan
Leo Dolan
as Frightened Man
John Melainey
John Melainey
as Restaurant Manager
Madeleine Newton
Madeleine Newton
as 1st Blind Date Woman
Holly De Jong
Holly De Jong
as 2nd Blind Date Woman
Tricia George
Tricia George
as Blonde Woman
Diane Keen
Diane Keen
as Mary
Francis Matthews
Francis Matthews
as Duke of Connemara
Michael Troughton
Michael Troughton
as Maquess of Tipperary
Richard Syms
Richard Syms
as Janitor
Gary Beadle
Gary Beadle
as Uniformed Constable
Alan David
Alan David
as Seargent
Cal McCrystal
Cal McCrystal
as Flash Gordon
Geoffrey Chater
Geoffrey Chater
as Sutton Frobisher
John Quentin
John Quentin
as Brian Kent
Ben Lemel
Ben Lemel
as Performance Artist
James Sinclair Wallace
James Sinclair Wallace
as Haydn Smailes
Vernon Nurse
Vernon Nurse
as Hughie
Amanda Richardson
Amanda Richardson
as Barmaid
Stephen Aintree
Stephen Aintree
as Walter
Kevork Malikyan
Kevork Malikyan
as Josef Esterhazy
Ron Li-Paz
Ron Li-Paz
as James Mitchell
Eric Nordell
Eric Nordell
as Defence Laywer
Alan Beckworth
Alan Beckworth
as Derek
Chrissie Richards
Chrissie Richards
as Sarah Reid
Arthur Whybrow
Arthur Whybrow
as Old Man in flats
Yvonne Edgell
Yvonne Edgell
as Woman in flats
Stewart Harwood
Stewart Harwood
as Big Bloke
David Vine
David Vine
as Skating Commentator
Richard O'Brien
Richard O'Brien
as Dr. Phibes
Mike Reid
Mike Reid
as Ronnie Richardson
Nora Taylor
Nora Taylor
as Ronnie's Woman
Fiona Gillies
Fiona Gillies
as Jennie Richardson
Samantha Golt
Samantha Golt
as Waitress
Jonathan Deverell
Jonathan Deverell
as Uniformed Officer
Christian Santos
Christian Santos
as Jet Ski Owner
Anthony Hamblin
Anthony Hamblin
as Young Super
Jamie Leyser
Jamie Leyser
as Young Ronnie
Bill Oddie
Bill Oddie
as Professor Rose
Roger Walker
Roger Walker
as Barman
Pat Roach
Pat Roach
as P.C. Drake
George Malpas
George Malpas
as Bumpkin
Russell Hunter
Russell Hunter
as Spanner
Anthony Lewis
Anthony Lewis
as First Boy
Steve Speirs
Steve Speirs
as Bruce
Ken Kitson
Ken Kitson
as Farmer
Dean Harris
Dean Harris
as First Policeman
Kemal Sylvester
Kemal Sylvester
as Second Policeman
Toni Galacki
Toni Galacki
as Second Boy
Colin Spaull
Colin Spaull
as Train Guard
Jeremy Sinden
Jeremy Sinden
as Doctor
Bryan Pringle
Bryan Pringle
as Fatha
Paul Chapman
Paul Chapman
as William the Conqueror
Hugh Dennis
Hugh Dennis
as Seth
Ken Jones
Ken Jones
as King Harold
Eve Bland
Eve Bland
as Joanne
Matthew Ashforde
Matthew Ashforde
as Norman Lute Player
David Hatton
David Hatton
as Hotspur
Derek Fowlds
Derek Fowlds
as Derek Alsopp
Sarah Crowden
Sarah Crowden
as Head Teacher
Rebecca Root
Rebecca Root
as Vet
Julie Etchingham
Julie Etchingham
as Newsround Presenter
Jessica Fox
Jessica Fox
as 1st Schoolgirl
Sarah Harris
Sarah Harris
as 2nd Schoolgirl
Cathy Sara
Cathy Sara
as Camilla
Stephen Churchett
Stephen Churchett
as Mr. Hawthorne
Jessica Marshall-Gardiner
Jessica Marshall-Gardiner
as Tatiana
Jo Grant
Jo Grant
as Jo Grant
Tamzie Duarte-Agyeman
Tamzie Duarte-Agyeman
as Claire
Suzi Pollock
Suzi Pollock
as Sarah
Paul Bigley
Paul Bigley
as Clown
Ann Mitchell
Ann Mitchell
as Superintendent Simmons
Pamela Cundell
Pamela Cundell
as Granny-o-gram
Anthony Jackson
Anthony Jackson
as First copper
Jeremy Turner-Welch
Jeremy Turner-Welch
as Third copper
Faith Flint
Faith Flint
as Amanda
Edward Highmore
Edward Highmore
as Doctor
Tony Mathews
Tony Mathews
as Commander Boyle
Jonty Stephens
Jonty Stephens
as D.C. Randall
John Bardon
John Bardon
as Billy
Richard Karlsson
Richard Karlsson
as Policeman at Court
Allison Dean
Allison Dean
as W.P.C.
Chris Armstrong
Chris Armstrong
as Security Guard
Sandy Hendrickse
Sandy Hendrickse
as Emily Cottam
Midge Taylor
Midge Taylor
as Landlord
Rupert Holliday-Evans
Rupert Holliday-Evans
as Skunk
Jamie Foreman
Jamie Foreman
as Billy
Tony Pritchard
Tony Pritchard
as Tony
Jason Griffiths
Jason Griffiths
as Edwards
Angus Kennedy
Angus Kennedy
as Paramedic
Joanne Good
Joanne Good
as Sister Watts
Martyn Whitby
Martyn Whitby
as Gilroy
James Curran
James Curran
as Surgeon
Tania Levey
Tania Levey
as Nurse Smith
Anna Wing
Anna Wing
as Old Lady
Rhashan Stone
Rhashan Stone
as Dr Monk
Olivia Nash
Olivia Nash
as Olivia
Peter Lovstrom
Peter Lovstrom
as Haydn Hunter
Angela Curran
Angela Curran
as Dinner Lady
Gwenan Edwards
Gwenan Edwards
as TV Reporter
Martin Sadler
Martin Sadler
as Tom
Tat Whalley
Tat Whalley
as T-Leaf
Stephen Marcus
Stephen Marcus
as Fat Reg
Tim Stern
Tim Stern
as Charlie
Dean Gatiss
Dean Gatiss
as Shop Assistant
Lyndam Gregory
Lyndam Gregory
as Tony
Martin Beaumont
Martin Beaumont
as Antiques Customer
Brenda Cowling
Brenda Cowling
as Bride's Grandmother
Claudette Barnard
Claudette Barnard
as Bride's Mother
Jacey Sallés
Jacey Sallés
as Bride
Derek Martin
Derek Martin
as Groom's Father
Ken McKay
Ken McKay
as Photographer
Tony Sloman
Tony Sloman
as Guest At Bar
Walter van Dyk
Walter van Dyk
as Master Of Ceremonies
Francesca Longrigg
Francesca Longrigg
as Helen
Catherine Carter
Catherine Carter
as Waitress
Malcolm McFee
Malcolm McFee
as Roberts
Larry Dann
Larry Dann
as Hawkeye
Andrew Lancel
Andrew Lancel
as Bryant
David Barber
David Barber
as Big Saxon / Barman
Paula Hamilton
Paula Hamilton
as Miss Red Button
John Duval
John Duval
as Executive at Bank
Sean Patterson
Sean Patterson
as Police Officer
Oliver Young
Oliver Young
as Uniformed Officer
James E. Kerr
James E. Kerr
as Russ Skinner
Darren Ruston
Darren Ruston
as Guest At Table
Lawrence Mullin
Lawrence Mullin
as Building Society Manager
John Kirk
John Kirk
as Groom
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Seasons

Season 1

Season 1

Season 2

Season 2

Season 3

Season 3

Season 4

Season 4

Season 5

Season 5

Episodes season 0

  • 0x1

    Thicker than water

  • 0x2

    Go west, old man

Episodes season 1

  • 1x1

    What the butler saw

  • 1x2

    Hostage

  • 1x3

    Teed off

  • 1x4

    Acting constables

  • 1x5

    Studs

  • 1x6

    Strangers in paradise

Episodes season 2

  • 2x1

    Collared

  • 2x2

    Witness

  • 2x3

    Never without protection

  • 2x4

    Dutch cops

  • 2x5

    Sparring partners

  • 2x6

    Rear window

Episodes season 3

  • 3x1

    D.c. of love

  • 3x2

    Flash

  • 3x3

    Art attack

  • 3x4

    On thin ice

  • 3x5

    Between a rock and a hard place

  • 3x6

    Twitchers

Episodes season 4

  • 4x1

    The great escaper

  • 4x2

    Fur coat, no knickers

  • 4x3

    Back to class

  • 4x4

    Sacked

  • 4x5

    The wembley stadium mystery

Episodes season 5

  • 5x1

    Special branch

  • 5x2

    Cardiac arrest

  • 5x3

    The beast of hackney marshes

  • 5x4

    The curse of the comanches

  • 5x5

    Best man

  • 5x6

    Mine's a large one

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